Bjorlam is a carriage driver in Skyrim, who is also a member of the Wagon-Man Courier Service. He is pretty much the sexiest, most manly wagon man in all of Tamriel, as Bjorlam has a dick the size of a summer sausage. He is also quite revered for his tales and his ability to take you to any of the nine hold capitals.
He has also been called BJ on occasion by Fün Tits.
Appearances[]
- Season 1
Quest For The Demon Horse Shadowmere[]
Fün meets Bjorlam for the first time, asking for him to take her to Windhelm. He tells her to climb on back, and starts to tell a story. His story cuts off near the beginning which annoys Fün. After leaving Windhelm, Fün needs Bjorlam to take her to Riften, but cannot get him, as he is in Whiterun.
Licking Astrid[]
After improving her weapons and armors, Fün stumbles upon Bjorlam and asks him to take her to Falkreath, after calling him cool.
Hiding In Grandma's Coffin[]
Fün goes to visit Bjorlam for a ride to Morthal on a Dark Brotherhood mission to assassinate the awful bard Luburk. This is when she discovers that he's very attractive and "all man."
- Season 3
Stupid Moth Priest[]
Fün takes Serana to Bjorlam to find clues on where they can find a Elder Scroll. They first went to go see the mages at the College of Winterhold but there were all dead.
- Season 5
S'oggy Balls (Episode)[]
S'oggy Balls first travel to Skyrim from his home country of Elsweyr was possible by Bjorlam's services.
Turkey Time[]
S'oggy Balls and Vilkas go visit Bjorlam to take them to Dawnstar, to wipe out the Silver Hand Clan. Bjorlam knows well about the Khajiit tradition of anus licking when having a conversation and S'oggy Balls has his butt licked.
Hide and Go Smash[]
S'oggy heads off to Solitude for the first time for a fishing job and asks Bjorlam to take him there.
S'oggy Sketch Artist[]
S'oggy wants to send a letter to Ysolda to tell her to teach him how to read. He goes to Bjorlam in hopes of giving him the letter to give to Ysolda. Before he can enlist Bjorlam's help, Hired Thugs from the rival courier company, S(kyrim)EX(press), attack S'oggy, Aela and General Burnside. He then gave the letter to Bjorlam and walked away.
Fish Stick[]
S'oggy gave Bjorlam another letter to give to Ysolda.
Reading Retart[]
Whilst telling his story to Crotch Guzzler, S'oggy flashes back to a moment when he asks Bjorlam to take him to Markarth. He is also thanked for delivering the message to Ysolda.
Survival Horror Dungeon[]
S'oggy gets invited to a dinner party near Dragonsreach and has to take a carriage outside of Whiterun. While S'oggy tries to use Bjorlam's carriage Emre tells him that he needs to use a different carriage. S'oggy asks Bjorlam if he can drive the other wagon, but Emre tells him that they have very specific routes they have to the hold capitals.
- Season 6
Bjorlam knows all the Hold capitals
Song of Mai Dik[]
After General Burnside/Mai Dik leaves the tavern with S'oggy Balls, Cock Nibbler needs help to travel to Sky Haven Temple. Bjorlam dishes out some of his stories and tells Cock that Markarth is a city built by Dawrves.
Winterhold SUCKS[]
Cock was running through the wilderness to get to the College of Winterhold. Emre asked why he didn't just hire Bjorlam. Cock responded with saying he wanted enjoy the fresh air.
Wrestling Hobo[]
Cock used Bjorlam's carriage to take him to the Jarl of Falkreath.
Heavy Metal Musical[]
Bjorlam takes Cock Nibbler to the Mysterious Cave by Solitude to save Brad the Bard.
Mentions[]
When T*ts Met Balls[]
The voice in S'oggy's head suggest they stop by at "McJorlam's" to feed General Burnside. Whether Bjorlam actually own a fast food franchise is unknown.
Quotes[]
- "Have you ever been to Windhelm? Oldest city in Skyrim by some accounts. They say the big old palace there was built by Ys-"
- "I can take you to any of the hold capitals."
- "Climb on back and we'll be off."
- "My carriage is the safest way to travel."
- "Good morning."