"Fün Tits' Journal" is the ninth episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the ninth episode of Season 1. This episode continues the "very special kind of walkthrough" for the Dark Brotherhood quest-line in The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim.


Instead of planning on saving Arnbjorn as Astrid had asked her to, Fün Tits decides that she will instead kill him so that she may be with Astrid. She travels to the city of Dawnstar because the other Dark Brotherhood sanctuary is very close by.

In Dawnstar, Fün visits The Oracles again. There, she accuses The Oracles of messing around behind Astrid's back with Arnbjorn. After this, she proceeds to steal The Oracles' clothes and realizes that she can become her own oracles at any time.

After the pit stop in Dawnstar, Fün Tits continues with her mission to "save" Arnbjorn from Cicero, ready to show off the fact that Astrid had given her Shadowmere instead. However, she soon realizes that she cannot kill Arnbjorn and proceeds into the Dawnstar sanctuary after Cicero. She can hear Cicero's ramblings the entire time. After playing a game of skeever toss, Fün finally finds Cicero in the back of the sanctuary.

To kill Cicero, Fün tries out several different staffs that she had on her, to varying results. Once Cicero was dead and stripped naked, Fün goes back to report to Astrid at the Dark Brotherhood sanctuary. There, Astrid informs Fün Tits that she will be posing as a man named The Gourmet in order to assassinate the Emperor.

Before leaving for this mission, Fün is reminded by Astrid that she's only a "sister" to her. Fün, upset, reads aloud segments of her private journal, comparing the pros and cons of Astrid. She comes to the conclusion that the list of cons about Astrid is much longer than the list of pros. Fün throws a bit of a fit over this fact around the sanctuary.

Festus Krex then informs Fün Tits of the details of her mission to impersonate The Gourmet. She has a hard time hearing what Festus is saying because of the other members of the Dark Brotherhood eating breakfast cereal as loud as they can and standing in the way. After finally understanding her orders (and freezing a few members of the Dark Brotherhood), she heads out to find and replace The Gourmet.


Skyrim For Pimps - Fün Tits' Journal (S1E09) Dark Brotherhood Walkthrough-1

Skyrim For Pimps - Fün Tits' Journal (S1E09) Dark Brotherhood Walkthrough-1

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"Behold...SHADOWMERE!" "Epic Meal Crime"