"Magic Gazebos" is the thirty-fourth episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the tenth episode of Season 3. In this season, we start with Fün Tits's adventure to become a vampire but is later joined by Crotch Guzzler. This episode is a "very special kind of walkthrough" for the start of Touching the Sky quest in The Elder Scrolls V: Dawnguard.
PlotEditFün rides Arvak and discovers Darkfall Cave. She has to find Auriel's bow but she forgets why, doing so anyway because it's important to Serana. Emre reminds Fün that it is to shoot an arrow to the sun... Ah, now she remembers!
Entering the incredibly dark cave, Fün immediately gets upset with Serana for talking while there's loud rushing water, so they decide to part ways. However, Fün didn't think it through and ends up having to go after Serana , since there is no other way out of the current place. She jumps in the water and finishes her aquatic adventure falling down a waterfall and fighting huge spiders, realizing that is the place where spiders end up when you flush them down the toilet. Classifying the place as messy, Fün is told by Emre that spiders do not keep a house very well and he goes on telling a story about how he once had a spider as a roommate and he was very disorganized. He had sixteen shoes and they were always everywhere.
The necromancer and the Pimp carry on killing trolls and eventually meet a strange Snow Elf, Knight-Paladin Gelebor, who tells them that place is a temple to Auriel, or L'Óreal, the shampoo brand. This dude asks Fün to kill his brother, Arch-Curate Vyrthur or something of that sort, because he does not understand what his brother has become, but is no longer the man he once knew. So, he's a transgender. Asking if Gelebor ever tried to enter the Inner Scrotum, the adventurers learn that indeed he has, but never succeeded.
As a freaking gazebo emerges from the ground, Gelebor explains that it is the only way to get to his brother and there are five wayshrines for Fün to visit. However, Fün says she only has till six o'clock, when Glee starts, therefore she isn't sure how many wayshrines she'll be able to go to, perhaps only one and Gelebor will have to take the rest himself. Before sending Fün her way, the Snow Elf gives her a barf bag, the Initiate's Ewer. On their way to the first wayshrine, we find out Fün likes to check Spriggans' butts. Yes. Relevant.
In the cave, Fün walks through the dark corridors and sees penis lights become flaccid as she approaches them. They strangely look like a combination of a penis and a vagina and it's probably what Prince has. Moving along, the vampire ladies find Tron-like lights and flowers and kill the poor blind people who live in caves, the falmers. Dispite being poor, the falmers seem to have quite the treasure in their chests, like plenty of gold and flawless gems. This makes them not poor, but simply disabled.
They come across a skeleton of a dude who had hands growing out of his head, who was probably one of Michael Jackson's backup dancers. As Fün kills a vale sabre cat, she excitedly gets the best furry bath mat ever. Then they meet this ghost brother who babbles some priestly things and asks if Fün would like to fill her vessel with Auriel's enlightenment to which she replies she rather not fill her vessel with anything at all, but she's afraid she has to. With this, the priest makes another gazebo lift from underground and Fün washes her hands in the basin provided, since they're really dirty from killing the leopards... She's tired and confused... and only completed one wayshrine out of five. She asks Emre for drugs, but he has nothing that will help her get through what awaits them.
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