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My Boredom Journal aka The Only Good Book Ever Written
by Crotch F. Guzzler


Entry 1:

Made sure Tolfdir was dead.

Entry 2:
Made sure Enthir was dead.

Entry 3:
Made sure Mirabelle was dead.

Entry 4:
Blasted Faralda out the window (for the 23rd time). She hasn't come back for over a week now. Hopefully, she's finally fucking dead.

Entry 5:
Made sure Arniel was dead.

Entry 6:
Made sure Onmund was dead. Smoked some weed from his old stash. Made me fell okay but then got paranoid. Had to make sure everyone was dead again.

Entry 7:
Really really made sure Tolfdir was dead.

Entry 8:
Some lady named Fun Tits (horrible name) came and asked about finding a bow that will shoot the sun out of the sky. She might be retarded. She's also apparently my neighbor?

Entry 9:
Got bored. Had sex with Brelyna's corpse again. It's not cheating cuz she's dead.

Entry 10:
The old arrow to the knee says that there are so many skulls in the house that she can't walk. Wants me to get rid of them. Fuck that. She knew what she was getting into when she married me after knowing me for half a day.

Entry 11:
Made sure Nirya was dead.

Entry 12:
Old ball and chain says she wants kids. I might be up for this...they could help me clean new skulls and maintain the old ones.

Entry 13:
Made sure Onmund was dead again.

Entry 14:
I fucking hate it here. Not coming back. Think I'll take the corpses of Brelyna and Onmund home to show the kids.

Entry 15:
LOL! Almost forgot! Made sure J'ZARGO was dead.
Taking his corpse home too.

I fucking hate cat people.

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