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Skooma Parley

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Skooma Parley is the thirtieth and supposedly final episode in the fifth season of Skyrim for Pimps. Originally to be the final chapter of Skyrim for Pimps, forever closing the story, fan demands persuaded Aaron, Emre and Adam to make yet another season, to be known as season six, starring Cock Nibbler. The fifth season was yet slightly extended by a few bonus chapters.

Skyrim For Pimps - Skooma Parley (S5E30) - Walkthrough21:53

Skyrim For Pimps - Skooma Parley (S5E30) - Walkthrough

Plot SummaryEdit

Skooma Parley picks up where To Kill a Dragon Born left off, with S'oggy Balls detailing to Crotch his long waiting at the College of Winterhold, scouring the entire campus for Skooma, pleasuring himself with Crotch's family's bodies, and suffering Skooma withdrawls the whole time. Then, he reveals to Crotch his new "hideous" form that was caused by a lack of Skooma. Crotch looks over S'oggy and says, "Actually, you look kinda cool.... for a family-eating cat-person!"

S'oggy then fills Crotch in on this night from his point of view, in which he saw a flash of light upon the mountain, sends General Burnside out with a letter, to Fün Tits, to take to Bjorlam, and takes some Unbelieveably Well Distilled Skooma to be able to maintain sanity as he told his story. He then reveals that the story was part of his plan all along, being Step 1 of it. The second step was originally to be killing him, but instead of doing it alone, he's invited Fün through the letter. As soon as he reveals this, Fün arrives along with Frea, still under the control of Cock Nibbler's drug. Fün immmediately asks about the leg of goat roast containing Astrid's soul. S'oggy then tells Fün that to get the roast back, she must help kill Crotch . She agrees, just as Cock Nibbler crawls up from the valley below, to reveal he is in fact DOUBLE Dragonborn, making him TWICE as powerful as the rest of the gang (besides S'oggy, that is, who is never said to be Dragonborn) whereas he can only be killed with TWO punches, unlike the feeble one of regular Dragonborn. He then invokes the ancient rite of Skooma Parley, where all fighting ceases until they go to Cock's and get really fucked up. They all agree to honor it, but Crotch says he has one thing he has to do first, to which S'oggy responds by demanding he comes with him. Crotch agrees to this term, and Cock and Fün set off to Cock Tower, and Crotch and S'oggy go off to Riftweald Manor, Mercer Frey's home and Aela's resting place.


Skooma Parley.

They arrive, and Crotch and S'oggy go into the bedroom, where Aela lies dead, and Crotch resurrects her for S'oggy, as an apology. He then reveals that he felt the presence of a Half-Khajiit, Half-Nord baby that was concieved when S'oggy had sex with Aela earlier in the season. S'oggy is delighted to know he'll be a father, and then Crotch once again shows kindness to S'oggy by marrying him and Aela, as the Arch-Mage is allowed to officiate weddings in Skyrim law. After they are married, Crotch declares that S'oggy may now consumate their marriage, to which the latter excitedly declares he shall, while Crotch waits outside the bedroom. Afterward, they depart to Cock Tower.

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