"Stabby White & the 7 Corpses" is the 124th episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the 35th episode of Season 6. This episode is a "very special kind of walkthrough" for the missions "The Merchant of Slaves," "Bounty from on High," and "The Merchant of Silver" of the Dark Brotherhood Resurrection Questline (Mod DLC).
Plot
Continuing "The Merchant of Slaves"
In the previous episode, after fighting Ranmir, Fün Tits perilously comes close to dying. She suddenly ascends into a strange grove, which Stabby calls his "happy place." Unsure of what that means, she walks around and approaches a dremora, who positions to attack but heals her instead. After a while, Fün realizes that Stabby has the ability to summon people to his secret plane he calls his "happy place" in times of trouble. In Stabby's happy place, one can be temporarily taken out of the world into safety and be healed by a dremora before returning to nirn. Besides the healing dremora, Fün discovers a whole society of miners and ice elementals living in Stabby's happy place. Odd as it may sound, the ice elementals that Fün saw were busy chasing rabbits. Eventually, the voice in Fün's head tells her that it had enough of Stabby's happy place. Fün agrees and decides to put this place behind them. They've learned enough about Stabby.
A bowing-healing friend
And so Stabby takes them back to the Dark Brotherhood headquarters. Fün then tells Stabby about the odd things that happened to Ranmir, with the dragon priest appearing from his corpse and all. It happened the last time too when she assassinated someone in Winterhold. Thinking that these two things can't be a coincidence, Stabby looks back at this record to see who requested the assassinations. He discovers that both assassinations were ordered by a client named Esbern. Having nothing else to discuss, Fün goes to talk to Averna.
Fün and Averna have a fun little conversation, telling each other what made them think of each other. Avera says she thought of a Fün when a werewolf turned into a rabbit and Fün tells her that she saw two ice elemental chasing rabbits in Stabby's "happy world," which made her think of Averna. In addition to that, Fün asks if Averna has her own happy place and speculates that if she did, she and Astrid must have gone there all the time. After their small talk, Fün gives Averna the dragon gospel that she wanted. Fün found the dragon gospel on Ramir's corpse, in the previous episode, "Fresh, Unviolated Slaves."
Ice elementals chasing rabbits.
Quickly taking a look at the dragon gospel, Averna deduces from the parchment that the dragon and its followers use money to control others. And thanks to the new information, she now knows where the dragon cultists are. Averna quickly writes a letter and tells Fün to deliver it to Stabby. She asks Fün that when she gives the letter to Stabby, say the words, "when the time comes it will all make sense." Fün bets that Stabby will love this "cryptic" message and speculates that he'll "go to his happy place immediately." In the meanwhile, a granny nearby who's being tortured begs that she be released but Fün ignores her demands and tells Averna to "have fun torturing."
So without delay, Fün looks for Stabby, who happens to be walking nearby. She stops him and gives him his letter. Stabby figuratively furrows his brows and says that he cannot read it. Fün suggest he go to his happy place to read it.
"Bounty from on High"
Later on, Fün realizes that both Astrid and Serana are missing. Although Fün cannot figure out where Astrid is, the voice in Fün's head thinks Serana might be hanging out with Babette, talking about being vampires.
Taking advantage of their absence, Fün lets out a little complaint about life with Serana and Astrid, about them being too clingy and too dependent on her. The voice in her head says that he can relate because he feels like Fün depends on him too much. Fün initially disagrees but acknowledges that the voice did help her get into the Dark Brotherhood in the first place. Before finishing their discussion however, the Dark Brotherhood had intruders.
"Who let the other assassins into here that aren't our assassins."
Fün dispatches all of the assassins and right on cue, Nazir says his favorite phrase, "you reek of death, my friend." Unfortunately, any comment after this was lost since Nazir, Averna, and Stabby all started talking at the same time.
"I know I'm the listener but I can't listen to all of you at the same time."
So unbeknownst to Fün, she learned a shout to call Averna while everyone chaotically talked over each other. Finally, after everyone calms down, Averna says that she will take down the dragon cultist and calls them "pompous skeevers." Fün cheers in agreement and Stabby tells Fün to meet him under the Solitude Arch tomorrow midnight.
Running off to Solitude with Averna, Fün meets M'aiq the Liar, a Pinocchio in Khajiit's clothing. He makes a passing comment basically saying that the people of Skyrim are better-looking than the people of Cyrodiil. Fün absentmindedly thanks him but realizes soon afterwards that he was lying. Fün has Averna stab M'aiq and they continue traveling to the Skyrim capital.
Once at the Solitude Stables, a Haafingar Guard stops Fün and Averna. Due to recent events, the dragon cultists put a bounty on the Dark Brotherhood in every hold. To Fün's surprise, she finds Astrid standing right behind the guard. After paying off her bounty and Fün decides to waste time in Solitude since they have a whole day until midnight.
Interestingly enough, Fün finds Stabby walking around the streets of Solitude. Fün asks if they can meet now even though it's still daytime. Having no response from Stabby, Fün decides that she will follow him to the meeting place. However, following Stabby takes her to the Winking Skeever, the local tavern. Feeling bored, Fün decides to kill people in the tavern with Averna's poisoned apples.
Her first target is a man sitting on a bench. To begin with, Fün drops a poisoned apple in his lap. However, the man suddenly stands up. Fün tells him to eat the apple. The man picks up the apple, sits back down on the bench, and eats the apple. Almost immediately, the man gives out a groan and falls sideways onto the floor. Fün laughs out of enjoyment.
Looking for the next victim, Fün approaches a table of two with Susann Gold-Love and a guy labeled Drunkard. In a high pitched valley girl voice, Susann tells Fün that she's "so wasted" and criticizes Fün's shoes. Fün angrily corrects her that her "shoes" are actually Daedric Boots.
Afterwards, Fün sits down with Stabby for a conversation. He asks his usual, "stabbed anyone today?" Fün tells Stabby that she poisoned someone with an apple and that that took her to her "happy place." Unfortunately, Stabby interrupts her conversation with some nonsense, stands up, and walks away. What a dick!
After her lame conversation with Stabby, Fün goes back poisoning people with apples. Fün tries dropping a poisoned apple in front of the Drunkard but the Drunkard stands up and glances over to the non-poisoned bowl of apples. Concerned that the Drunkard might eat the good apples instead, she tells him to focus on the apple she gave him and not the other apples. He ignores all apples and walks away.
Drunkard thinking real hard whether to eat the poisoned apple or not.
Fün, not giving up all that easily, peruses him and gives him advice on health, saying that he can't just drink beer all the time and that he has to get nutrition somehow. She drops another apple on the table in front of him. This time, the apple quickly disappears from the table. Fün is astonished that the Drunkard may have eaten a poisoned apple. To see if that's really the case, Fün drops another apple on the table in front of him. The Drunkard leans into the apple as if he is considering eating it. At the last moment, Fün tries to sweeten the deal by saying that she'll give him 10,000 but he doesn't eat the apple and stands up to leave instead.
"You, b*tch. I was going to give you 10,000 gold."
Fün tries to entice the other customers of the Winking Skeever with apples saying it was the new sweetrolls but ultimately comes to te conclusion that all of the customers may have learned not to eat the apples after the first guy died from eating poisoned apples.
Fün has had it with people refusing to eat apples and storms out of the tavern. However, the voice in Fün's head is still hung up on the poisoned apples and wants to kill at least one kid with them. To meet the voice's demands, Fün goes over to a kid playing a game of tag and tries to feed her apples. The kid tells Fün to get away from her and runs away.
"F*cking unhealthy children. All they want to eat is meat and potatoes and pasta. Everybody in Solitude is so fat. They don't eat fruits and vegetables anymore."
Leaving Solitude, Fün approaches the underside of the Solitude Arch. Fün and the voice in her head discuss the good times they had there finding the Wabbajack (see "Fish Stick") and killing the emperor (see "Epic Meal Crime").
Midnight arrives. Fün does not find Stabby and finds out that the meeting place was not directly under the Solitude Arch and so she runs over to the real meeting place. There he finds Stabby waiting for her just as promised but with a special guest, the Drunkard from earlier. Fün, relieved that she didn't kill Drunkard, listens to his theory concerning the latest attack on the Dark Brotherhood. He speculates that the Gold-Loves might be the ones pulling the strings. They are the owners of the East Empire Company and are in good with the Mages Guild and Maven Black-Briar of Riften. All of a sudden, however, Stabby cuts off Drunkard's story and cuts him with his dagger.
"Holy sh*t, Stabby. Stabby got stabby."
Stabby gives Fün a mission to kill a member of the Silver Blood family in Markarth. He tells Fün about Averna's poisoned apples and asks that she use them in this assassination. Fün is taken aback because Fün has told Stabby about the apple killings earlier in the Winking Skeever.
"It's like you weren't listening at all. Just because I'm the listener doesn't mean I'm the only one of the Dark Brotherhood who can listen."
However, Stabby continues to not listen and insists that she talk to Averna about her poisoned apples. Fün enraged, yells at Stabby that she already bought the apples a long time ago. Besides, Averna is standing right next to them so perhaps Stabby can ask him himself.
"How do you like them apples?"
Stabby, however, is unfazed by her outrage and nonchalantly asks if she's stabbed anyone today.
Quote
"Stabby stay the f*ck away, Stabby." - Fün warning Stabby not to mess with her when she's trying to get people to eat the poisoned apples at the Winking Skeever.
Video
See also
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