"Werewolf Skooma Addict" is the 103rd episode in the Skyrim for Pimps series and the 14th episode of Season 6. The episode was originally titled Werewolf Drug Addict.
In the previous episode Crazed Courier, Cock Nibbler kills three hired bandits in the Shrine of Stendarr. Curious who sent these bandits, the first thing Cock does is he checks the bodies of the Hired Thugs. It turns out that Septimus Signus, who was killed by Herman Melville, sent out these mercenaries to get Cock. Unfortunately for him, Cock is still alive and Septimus will wander the land in ghost form forever.
Cock Nibbler talks to Irbrand Bienne, a priest in the Shrine of Stendarr. He says he needs help. Cock randomly gives 10 daedra hearts and 10 bowls of vampire dust cereal to the priest. The priest thanks Cock and asks Cock be quiet as he will light the shrine. Cock, being a jerk, talks as loudly and says he understands. With a blast of green sparks, Nirtius Pontanian suddenly arrives at the temple.
Nirtius asks for his help and Cock offers his help since he is the hero of Skyrim and he believes he is a good person. Nirtius directs him to go to a Dwemer ruin and kill a werewolf named Waylas. Nirtius warns him that the werewolf is lethal and cunning. Cock is relieved at this information; if the werewolf was useless and stupid it wouldn't be exciting.
The voice in his head makes sure that Cock knows the dangers of a werewolf. Cock claims that if you push anything off of a cliff, it will die. The voice in his head counters with "wereeagles." Cock says you can tie their wings and then chuck it off of a cliff it will die.
Cock arrives at the cave of the Dwemer ruin and falls into a trap. Cock seeing how it would take effort to solve the puzzles to get through the dwemer ruin says he is unmotivated and does not want to do this anymore. The voice in his head tries to clear up the fact that he is the hero of Skyrim and a opportunity has presented itself to be one and he just doesn't want to do it.
Cock claims part of being a hero is knowing when you've been defeated.
"It's just 40 miles of Dwemer ruins"
After a few more complaints, Cock resolves to solve the puzzle and become the hero of Skyrim. After fast forwarding through the lengthy puzzle process, Cock meets Waylas Hawker, the werewolf. Cock asks the werewolf if he can stay here as he is homeless. The werewolf claims that as long as Cock brings him skooma he's welcome to stay. Cock does not like this answer as he is against wrongdoing and drugs are wrong. However, he did own skooma from when he confiscated the skooma from a hunter dealing drugs to rabbits.
He trades the skooma and the voice in his head claims that Cock is officially a drug dealer. Cock corrects him that he is a drug barterer and that there's nothing wrong with drug bartering according to the Pimple.
Cock asks if Waylas wants to join him on his adventure. Waylas says, "No I shouldn't. I could but I wouldn't" in a very upbeat rythmic tone. Amused, Cock and the voice in his head makes him say this a few more times and asks one more time if I can stay. He replies again that he would be okay with it as long as he got some skooma. Immediately afterwords, Waylas mutters to Cock to "get out of here." Cock enraged that Waylas went back on his word, kills Waylas. The werewolf does not fight back. It seems like he was high on skooma as when Cock checked Waylas's inventory the skooma was gone.
Coc gets sucked up the pipe to arrive to the surface and he describes a nightmare to the voice in his head. For most people it is a pleasant dream but for Cock, a complete disaster. As he was reading the pimple, he would dose off and dream about a beautiful woman attractive, smart, and lots of things in common, they talk, they get into a long term relationship. The Voice in his head thinks this is nice but Cock outright denies this and claims that it's good "maybe for someone like you who's pure evil."
Back at the shrine, Nirtius expects Waylas to be dead and wants proof of this. Cock shows him, what he calls a "werewolf apple" that he stole from Waylas. Nirtius accepts it either way and Cock asks if there is a next mission. There is. Nirtius formally welcomes Cock into the order and asks Cock to disguise himself as a warlord from Windhelm. Nirtius, who is sitting down, stands up and encourages Cock to join him on his walk to "headquarters." Cock tags along but realizes almost immediately that he is just walking to the other side of the hallway to sit on the other bench. Cock and the voice in his head laugh at Nirtius's little walk. Nirtius unmoved by this stands back up and walks back to the other side of the hallway to sit. Cock follows and sits on the "werewolf apple" that Nirtius left on the bench.
"They can't hide from your dustpan." - Cock, in reference to cleaning up the hired thugs, who claimed that Cock can't hide from them.
Agent of Righteous Might (Mod DLC)
|Previous episode:||Next episode:|
|Crazed Courier||Horse Thief|