Continuing Purity of RevengeEdit
S'oggy is entrusted by the Companions to wipe out the Silver Hand Clan. The voice in his head suggests that he "wipe out this Silver Hand group as a werewolf." S'oggy agrees as he has to feed anyways. He does his favorite move, freezing in time and compares himself to little red riding hood (S'oggy, isn't it the other way around?). He eats the clan members one by one. He gives werewolf handshakes and werewolf courtesy throws.
And S'oggy loves being werewolf. He claims he's "a fast kitty but boy (he's) a faster doggy."
"For guys that are specifically trying to fight werewolves, they sure don't do a good job don't seem to know how to do it."
Eventually, his werewolf powers ware off and S'oggy is no longer a werewolf. He quicky puts his clothes back on and picks up the pieces Wuuthrad. S'oggy decides to celebrate with some skooma but Vilkas does not want to join him; what a jerk.
S'oggy kills one more bandit and decides to teach General Burnside how to do doggy style (something he does not do himself since he's a cat). General Burnside had the right idea saying "mai dik," however, Vilkas, who was accompanying them on the trip tried to cock-block him. S'oggy hints that General Burnside might be gay since he staring directly into Vilkas's package.
Glory of the DeadEdit
Since he's wiped out the Silver Hand and retrieved Wuuthrad, it's time for him to go to Kodlak's funeral.
S'oggy does have an eulogy prepared and arrives late at the funeral. S'oggy mentions that he has been wiping out the Silver Hand Clan for the Companions. He gives a "heartfelt" eulogy that goes like this:
Kodlak Brightbane was a wonderful man... Comstock Heartland was a good man and we should all remember him as he was, a white-haired I think he had a beard a tattoo on his face... yeah a tattoo or something... I know he wore some sort of clothing, I think was a jerkin... and some jerky and liked pickles, his favorite thing was pickles. Let's all remember and laugh about how much Candy Stash White Samon liked candy... I mean ah pickles pickles... He liked homosexual poetry; he liked Jason Robards; he liked cream in his coffee; he also liked to wear shorts in the summer; he really enjoyed cheating at scrabble; he liked cheap whores (oh my god); and he also liked foreign dignitaries in the sack and that's everything i know about Corn Starch Butt Stain. Ok, that was my eulogy. Have a good day everyone.
Unfortunately, Eorlund was hammering away at some metal during his speech.
"Could you quit hammering? I'm get trying to give a eulogy. Dude, this is a really bad time for this."
After the funeral, Eorlund asks S'oggy to go retrieve the last Wuuthrad fragment from Kodlak's room. Thankfully this wasn't too much of a chore since he had General Burnside dancing at his side. He gets the last fragment from Kodlak's chest and heads over to Eorlund's forge.
Along the way he talks to Ria, who proudly tells S'oggy that she killed a bear yesterday and asks if he's killed anything. S'oggy coldly comments that he's killed the entire Silver Hand Clan and passive aggressively tells her that he's glad the Companions have her around. Continuing forward, S'oggy delivers the final piece of Wuuthrad to Eorlund and Eorlund tells S'oggy that the others are waiting for him at the underforge.
S'oggy is quite excited to hear this because "it's a very special place." This was the first place where he saw Aela naked in beast form. S'oggy hope this time they can turn General Burnside into a mini-werewolf.
The members of the Companions are talking about removing Kodlak's inner tony in his afterlife and with the Wuuthrad they can. Thankfully, Eorlund works fast and hands the Wuuthrad to S'oggy. S'oggy is ungragteful however since he uses his fist to fight.
To go meet Kodlak's ghost, they must travel to Ysgramor's Tomb, where he would be wondering about. However, the members of the Companions plan to run to the Tomb of Ysgramor crossing almost half of Skyrim. S'oggy does not like this idea but tags along complaining that this will take a whole episode (fourth wall alert). He tries to warn them that this might be a "poorly planned out trip," and maybe they could take a horse there.
Unfortunately, the Companion members do not listen to him and throws him for a loop taking detours to go to the bathroom and fighting bandits at Fort Fellhammer. S'oggy tries to think of ways to make the trip more fun like suggesting they play the punch buggy game, where the players can punch the other players in the arm after yelling out the color of a Volkswagen beetle they spot. He tries to have a "fun" conversation with Aela on how having sex with S'oggy would be like. All of his efforts are futile. To top it all, a fellow named Cicero stops him along the way. His voice makes S'oggy uncomfortable and quickly gets away from him.
"Sex with soggy balls is like lying down on a nice wet carpet after flood and letting the carpet plunge itself inside you over and over again. Imagine a carpet making love to you, Aela. A very furry soft carpet, of course. With like a roll of quarters like shoved into the carpet roll of quarters with hair all over it."
Unfortunately, after describing "sex with S'oggy" one too many times short-circuits Aela. She gets stuck on a snowy mountain, repeatedly climbing up and down, yelling "for Kodlak." S;oggy does not understand what's going on and apologizes to General Burnside who's got "short little stubby legs." S'oggy, who cannot take it any longer, takes General Burnside with him ans says that he'll meet everyone at the destination. So he heads on along before the others and reaches Ysgramor's Tomb. S'oggy contemplates if he should wait for the others before going in but the voice in his head tells him that they might be already in the tomb. While skeptical, S'oggy claims that if they are indeed already there, he would be mad. He enters the barrow and there they are waiting FOR HIM. S'oggy was overcome with disbelief.
Sounds vaguely sexual (refering to the last fragment of Wuuthrad).
Well it's just like Kodlak. Kodlak was vaguely sexual.
Some Nights I dream of the mists of Sovngarde. And then I fondle your butt cheeks in the mists of Sovrngarde. And then I dream you're on top of me but you can't tell it's me because of the mists of Sovrngarde.
Okay guys, look an inn! Can we stop at the inn? There's a funny drunk man out.
There is no time, no time. We always just run through cities on this adventure.
We'll stop there on the way back.
|Previous episode:||Next episode:|
|Turkey Time||Sex With Aela|